Km2,645: Quito. And Guayaquil and Montañita.

It was a long 100kms to Quito, but a tailwind meant that only a Brasilian group game slowed me down. I wanted to leave by bus that night, so went straight to the bus station. Or at least tried. Quito, you see, is about 50kms long and only 5kms wide, and in a deep valley. I didn't want to leave the main road, up on a high ridge, too early; nor did I want to leave too late. So I did took what I thought was a sensible approach: I asked some people apparently waiting for a bus. They said they knew and gave detailed instructions. So I cycled down the hill only to discover that their detailed instructions were a hoax, designed either to save face or to play a funny joke on a tired cyclist.


But with the help of some more useful locals, I found it and got the information I needed. Now I just needed to visit the house of Christian, a couchsurfer who had kindly picked up my bag from the bus station a couple of weeks earlier. But Christian lived in the new, north bit of town, while the bus station was so far south of the south bit of town that even the biggest map didn't show it. But the police had a tip: just follow the dedicated Trole line - a kind of mass transit bus system running on a segregated piece of road. This I did. I was alarmed to discover that, unlike everything else in the continent, the Trole bus drives on the left. I swerved in time. But another problem soon presented itself: the buses travel faster than a bike. And it was getting dark and I had no back light. There was only one solution: pedal like hell whenever I spotted one behind me! Since they stop every few hundred metres (and I didn't), this isn't quite the impossible task it felt.

Christian, like a hero, offered a tired cyclist a beer and a dinner. Both were gratefully received, as was the news that a much closer bus office would satisfy my getting-to-Guayaquil needs. I arrived there at 6am and went to visit Andrew and Lone who run an art project with children who live in the slums. Andrew also has the distinction of having grown up in Truro, and although we'd never met, my mum spoke to his mum and his mum promised my mum that he'd show me a good time. Lone, meanwhile, is his girlfriend. Before they had even left for work, Lone had cooked me scrambled eggs on toast. And then went even more heroically to help the children and their families. I used my day rather less charitably: browsing the internet for potential jobs and catching up on TED, and made a brief excursion into the city to look at a plaza full of iguanas that compete for food with the pidgeons.

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But the following day, I was off to Montañita, a surf/party town, to spend my birthday with Isabel and Tamara. They had met Mark and Dave (the two other cyclists from before) in Montañita more than one year before, and then spent Christmas with us in Argentina. The rule is that what happens in Montañita stays in Montañita, and so while nothing particularly scandalous happened, I couldn't possibly share it here.

I stopped in Guayaquil on my way back to Quito spend an evening enjoying more of Andrew and Lone's hospitality, and the next day helping (questionable) with their project, meeting some of their great, excitable kids and watching them attempt to blow-paint. Then another overnight bus to Quito where Christian and his girlfriend provided yet more beer. And then I booked a trip to the jungle...

The Quilotoa 'loop'

I left Baños and thanks to the thick low clouds, missed the "spectacular views" of the volcanoes that line the road to Latacunga. But I made it all the same and set off on another detour towards the Quilatoa volcano. I arrived in Zumbahoa just as their Corpus Christi celebrations were starting. These children obviously weren't allowed out so watched from their garden wall.

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I'd had a good long look at my map and noticed that there was a road leading towards the Pacific that would lose all of my 3,500m of altitude in some 70kms. Naturally I decided another detour was in order - I could come back by bus. But first I'd have to climb for two hours - I consoled myself of thinking about the extra downhill. I passed more cute children.

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Suddenly I reached the top of the hill and the road dropped away on the other side into the clouds.

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But it was getting dark so I started to look for somewhere to sleep and soon found a family gathered in front of their house. I stopped to say hello and asked if I could camp. The eldest son translated into Quechua for his father, and with a big grin and nervous laugh he said yes. The view was quite good:

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I set up my tent, watched closely by all three children - brilliantly named Darwin, Augustus and Jefferson - and their father who was still giggling nervously. They all tried on my helmet and I sent them into my tent to look around while I tried to cook. But they soon discovered that there wasn't much to be seen inside my tent and that watching me cook would be far more interesting. If you've never been attentively watched by a silent audience while you cook - don't. It's intimidating.

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The next morning I skipped breakfast to avoid the awkwardness of the silent audience and continued on my epic descent. But around the first corner was a horrible surprise: road works. In the freezing early-morning air (I used thick socks as gloves) I bumped down the muddy road. This wasn't what I'd had in mind.

Eventually I hit tarmac again, only for it to turn back into mud a couple of kilometers later. This was no fun. After 37.6kms, I decided that, if it was still mud at 40kms, I'd stop and wait for a bus back. At 39.9kms (really) it turned to tarmac only for it to turn back to mud at 40.7kms.

But eventually, most of my descending done, it had obviously been decided that the road was good enough and I could cruise along, now in the cloud, towards La Maná. 

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I'm sure the driver of this truck blamed it on the clouds...

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I arrived in the market town of La Maná in time to watch Germany's first World Cup game. But 10 minutes in, the power went out - in the whole town. I went in search of lunch and a bus and made it back to Zumbahoa that evening, where the Corpus Christi celebrations were in full swing. With a full swing band, naturally. I watched a man so drunk that he had to be helped up some stairs by his tiny daughter. At 8pm. Then Beatrice from the tourist agency came to say hello and we arranged a date to the rodeo for the following afternoon. That left just enough time to visit the volcano in the morning.

The road to Quilotoa turned out to be made primarily of sand. But I made it and saw this guy:

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Then I cycled back along the same sandy road just in time for the rodeo. Almost everybody was drunk, and very colourful.

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Proof that the poncho is for reals:

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These two men were almost falling off their horses. But their outrageous talent kept them going, somehow. Seriously, they were sidestepping all over the place.

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There were more cute children.

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And eventually the 'rodeo' started.

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Then it was all over. I got a bus back to Latacunga, ready to head for Quito, while Beatrice went back to her day job.

Km? - Cuenca to Baños. A flat bit, a hilly bit, and a downhill bit

I left Cuenca along a mercifully flat road - the first one since I had arrived in Ecuador. The sun was shining, children were laughing and flowers flanked the road.

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It was nice. I even managed, slightly over-ambitiously, to grab a truck as I started a climb up and over an enormous pass. The road flattened out for a while in the middle, and the driver tried to gather speed for the steepest part of the ascent. I foolishly stayed holding on as we peaked at over 60km/h. One handed. But it was worth it when, 5kms later, we made it together to the summit.

The usual lack-of-flat-ground problem had resurfaced by the time I tried to camp, but eventually I saw a deep gash in the group separating the road from an apline field. Perfect.

The next morning, as I was cooking my breakfast, the farmer came and as he saw me stopped dead, staring in shock. I started to apologise, explaining that I was just about to leave and that I had needed a place to camp. He stood open-mouthed, speechless. Then he came towards me. I panicked. He lifted his arms. I flinched. Then he wrapped them around me and held me in a tight hug. Eventually he let go, looked me in the eye and said: "I'm drunk." He looked like a little boy having to admit to his parents that he had killed the dog.

The following day, I was aiming for Aluasí where a famously impressive train ride would take me to Riobamba - a more-than justified reason to avoid another big climb. After many, many answers from people who claimed to be sure of (a) when the trains leave and (b) how far away Aluasí is (they were all wrong on all counts), I eventually arrived in the dark, in driving rain and thick fog. It's an eerie experience being told a town in 100m away and not seeing any sign of it, but not as eerie as seeing the street lights suddenly appear from the gloom.

It turned out that the train doesn't leave at 6am every morning, or every hour, or at 10am, or just in the afternoon, or indeed at all. Not even the residents of Aluasí appeared to know that the line was closed for repairs, and had been for several months. So I decided to go for a walk along the rails to get an idea of what the fuss was about before taking the rail replacement bus service to Riobamba.

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But when I arrived in Riobamba, I was warned that the main road to Baños was closed. Baños was where I was heading. I'd have to get another bus and cycle down a road (not marked on my map) if I wanted to arrive there before dark. I did so I did.

The good news was that the second bus left me higher up than the first bus had which meant I had even more descent to enjoy. Things started slowly as the newly-tarmacked road twisted through small farms and villages. But soon I was cycling steeply down, following a valley with a wind rushing up strongly enough to almost stop me in my tracks whenever I wasn't pedalling. Not what I had in mind.

But after being given a free peanut-based energy bar from a small shop, I made it. I went to stay in the Princess Maria hostel (highly recommended) where, as I was checking in, Ben & Ben walked in with Amy, who I had met in Vilcabamba. As I was getting over my shock, another group from the hostel came in the opposite direction inviting us for dinner. Ben, Ben and Amy didn't want to; I did. I agreed where to meet them and went for a shower.

I went to the restaurant, said hello and sat down. Except I then started to have doubts; I knew the few who had left the hostel were meeting other friends, but I didn't recognise anyone. I was worried I'd made a humiliating mistake; looked around for confirmation; didn't find it. Eventually I had to ask. Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for the story) it was them. I needn't have worried - they seemed to be the only people in town.

Everybody else had been put off by the recently-active volcano which was giving regular little booms to remind everyone it was there. The next day we climbed to a viewpoint only to find the summit was in cloud, predictably, but a patch of blue revealed the ash cloud it had just spat out. We got to the viewpoint and, so enjoying the climb, continued along a tiny path through the forest where we found that it was raining ash.

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But the highlight of Baños was a cycle trip down the Route of the Waterfalls. Or not the cycle so much as the last waterfall we got to.

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I didn't take my camera for fear of it getting wet, so this is a photo from the internet. But it doesn't even begin to do justice to what was probably the most incredible display of power I've ever seen. Not from this angle, mind. This angle was all well and good. But on the way back we spotted a sign offering another viewing point. It turns out that the other viewing point is behind the waterfall. And there's another one near the bottom where the water crashes into the pool below. Except the pool was completely obscured by the quantity of spray flying around the place.

To supplement the normal flow are irregular gushes, seemingly doubling its power, and a huge column of spray is ejected when one of these hits the bottom. We made an attempt to get to the lowest viewing point, but we each got half way down the stairs before turning back, screaming like girls after being taken out by a fresh column of spray. So we crawled through the tiny hole in the rock and emerged one meter from the main body of the waterfall. When there wasn't a gush, the spray provided a powerful shower; when there was a gush, it was terrifying. There was much more screaming like girls as we tried to lean out a bit to look up. There was much discussion about how long you would last if you jumped in, and whether your body would survive in one piece. 'Seconds' and 'no.'

We were beginning to get used to it, and so on our return made another attempt to get to the bottom viewing platform. Three of us made it and we dived behind the wall protecting us from the skin-battering spray, and eventually started to dare to look over. It was a bizarre experience - you had just enough time to duck when one of the columns erupted and turn around to see it smashing against the rock behind us. There was a lot more screaming like girls.

This is a video from Swedish Niclas (no relation) taken from a safe-ish place. Make sure you jump to about 6 minutes in or you might be subjected to my singing.

The one night I had planned to stay quickly turned into three. I even made pancakes (delicious).

Vilcabamba to Cuenca: hills, rain and fireworks

I left Vilcabamba in the early morning sun and quickly found myself on the first of the many hills that populate the south of Ecuador. Luckily, a truck overflowing with sugar cane was huffing and puffing up the hill and I scored a free ride by grabbing a trailing cane as it wheezed past.

I raced back down the other side, passing the 2,000km mark (uneventful) and saw a bright blue church tower poking up over the town nestled in the valley. Naturally, I went to investigate and discovered that this otherwise-nondescript town was adorned with a beautiful plaza and stunning church.

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They even had a great globe, presumably to help the local children with their world geography.

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I stopped to eat some bread in another town, this time with a rubbish church, but with a choice of no less than three live sports events to choose from. It was like having the BBC's red button all over again...

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Sadly, the swimming pool, just out of shot, wasn't being used. That'd have been too much, clearly.

I arrived in Loja remembering that I needed patches to top up my depleted collection. As I cycled around looking for a bike shop, Rodrigo caught up on his mountain bike and led me around the cobbled streets to the shop that he happened to own. He gifted me the patches, and then led me to a man who could repair my headphones - again, a gift. Meanwhile, I had foreseen the mountainy terrain and arranged to send my backpack, complete with everything I didn't immediately need, to a couchsurfer in Quito.

I left Loja the following morning, excited by my newly light bike. Until I got to the first hill (immediately) and realised it was still pretty bloody heavy. No trucks were going to help me today and I discovered that Ecuador doesn't do flat. It's all up-up-up-up and then down-down-down-down before immediately returning for a short up-up, a quick down and then an up-up-up-up-up. At 3pm the rain started. I made a brave attempt to man-up and cycle through it, but I spotted a restaurant and shop that over-ruled any lingering enthusiasm I had to get wetter.

The rain wasn't about to stop, so I started enquiring about a place I might leave a tent. But, this being the Ecuadorian mountains, the manageress couldn't think of one single flat spot. But she had a better idea - why not just sleep on the floor of the restaurant? I agreed that this sounded like an excellent idea, the restaurant having a roof even if no sides, and stayed up late (well past 9pm) talking to her son, before they all left for their homes in the next town, leaving me with the abandoned bus.

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They came back in the morning just as I was making breakfast and waved me on my way up the up-up-up-up-up-up the mountain had arranged for me. Every time I thought it would end, I went around a corner and discovered more hill. And Ecuadorian transportation firms have the audacity to provide their trucks with engines rather than hamster-wheels, and so every one came roaring past too fast for even my most audacious grabbing-hold attempts.

I had just reached the top of the second uuuupppp and was settling down to enjoy the 70km/h descent when I cycled over an innocent looking branch which was in fact concealing a big rock. The Raleigh tyre I had been carrying since Buenos Aires - and which had done little more than cover 500kms and get punctures - was having none of it. Since it was so new, I wasn't carrying a spare and realised I was stuck. Yet, miraculously, I had come to a stop 100m from a police check point where every passing car (not many) had to stop. With a little help from the police, I had soon found a lift to Cuenca, missing a whole day's cycling (the big downhill was particularly missed).

My arrival coincided with the beginning of Corpus Christi, a week-long celebration featuring lots of fireworks.

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They even had big hot-air balloons that disappeared up into the darkness until they were indistinguishable from the stars. Beautiful.

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Before long, they were blowing up towers.

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The grand finale featured fireworks exploding over the heads of the crowd, leading half to scarper away while a few brave (/drunk) ones danced around the burning embers.

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Safety wasn't a big concern...

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A fire engine quickly came to put out the flames, dousing anybody in the plaza with water. All in all, good, clean, family fun.

I met a couple of Ecuadorians who invited me to a local club. When we arrived, they set about finding me a girl to dance with. Their tactics were rather more direct than I would've gone for: "Hi, will you dance with my friend." Unfortunately the speed with which they were ignored meant that they weren't checking for my signal before making their approach; inevitably they found someone, and after what seemed like a polite amount of time, I made my excuses and left. Only to find they had used the same moves for themselves and were each ensconced with their own girl. Then I realised that every single person on the dancefloor was with a partner.

So I walked back past the bar to find two slightly bewildered Welsh boys, both called Ben. Gaining some Dutch-courage with the cheapest alcopop, we hit the dancefloor just as Outkast replaced the Ecuadorian chart hits. It was followed by Dr Dre and our interpretive dance astonished all, stole the hearts of the girls and made great strides for the Ecuadorian gay-rights movement.

Job done.

Cusco to Vilcabamba: 2780kms. Buses, buses, buses and buses.

It had become apparent that the three months I ended up spending in Bolivia were going to have detrimental effect on my plans to cycle to the Caribbean. Coupled with the revelation that Colombia is South America's best country that was coming from all the tourists I met, I decided to skip a huge chunk of desert and take buses to the south of Ecuador where I'd start the third part of my trip.

Undeterred by my first sleepless night on a bus coming back to Cusco from Machu Picchu, I booked another bus to Arequipa, leaving that evening. I decided to throw some money at the situation, paying an enormous £1 extra for a more comfortable bus. I arrived in Arequipa suitably refreshed and set about exploring the town famous for its use of sillar, a white volcanic rock, as its primary building material, and for being the home of Peru's rich, right-wing middle class.

It's also home to a fantastic museum containing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mummy_Juanita, a 500-year-old human sacrifice perfectly preserved by the high mountain air and cold weather, and a town-sized convent that makes full use of the ubiquitous sillar:

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Their clothes-washing facilities were impressive.

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But before long, it was time to go back to the bus terminal for another overnight bus to Lima. This time there'd be no luxury, a choice I soon regretted. But I arrived safe, despite the warnings from the other bus companies. It was early so I made friends with the attendant at a car park and drank what was to be my last Peruvian quinoa juice. Or would've been had I not immediately bought a second, which consequently inherited its status as last-ever-quinoa-juice.

For the first time since Argentina, the police were evident, with riot vans and tanks parked seemingly around every corner.

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Far from feeling reassured, it was also the first time I've felt threatened. And not by the civilians who, as the picture above shows, hardly strike fear in the heart.

I spent a morning wandering between churches and quaint streets and ate a lunch of ceviche and a local delicacy bizarrely called queso helado ("cheese ice cream"). In a unique and hopefully never-to-be-repeated experiment, Lima has no bus terminal, preferring to dot individual bus companies' offices around a particularly unsavoury part of town. So my hunt for a night bus to the small northern town of Piura took all afternoon, but eventually I embarked on my fourth consecutive night in a bus.

I arrived the next morning and took a shower under the hose in the bus terminal, and discovered that that not lying down in 141 hours had had an unexpected effect, and that old ladies' complaints of swollen feet weren't based in mythology as I'd always assumed. 

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I went in hunt of yet another bus all the same, this time to take me back into the mountains to Vilcabamba, where the locals all live to 100. On the way, I stopped to watch a man claiming to have a two-headed snake in his bag, before realising he was just a bad magician entertaining the shoppers. So did these two cute girls. 

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I found my bus and it took me over the border, where my money changing was overseen by a group of monkeys.

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Finally, at 11pm, I arrived in Loja where one final bus would take me to Vilcabamba. One was about to leave, and I arrived at 1am, expecting to find the town empty. Not so. 

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Vilcabamba was celebrating its 150 anniversary - almost as old as its oldest citizen if you believe the hype. The next day, they'd finish the month-long celebrations with a rodeo. Clearly not to be missed. $1 beers helped get everyone in the mood... Twice bulls got bored and stopped bucking, but otherwise: impressive.

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And painful...

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But once the adults were done, one obviously-enthusiastic boy wanted in on the action. Clearly a bull like those above would be out of the question, and so the ever-creative organisers found a friendly goat.

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Things started well.

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But it didn't last long.

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Not to be deterred, he set off after the escapee goat.

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He eventually caught it, but with little success. But they both left to huge cheers and hero status. Vilcabamba Rodeo Champion 2025. You heard it here first...

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The next day, still in awe of the boy on the goat (which has firmly established itself in the Top 10 things I've ever seen), I put off my leaving plans to go hiking with some people I met at the rodeo.

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After a couple of false starts along the wrong paths, we made it to the mirrored cross and continued to climb towards the slightly-higher-up cross.

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We passed some interesting combinations of flora and fauna...

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...and great views.

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And then it was back to my tent to pack my bags, ready to start the third chapter of my bicycle jaunt in the morning...

The obligatory Machu Picchu photos

After the Choquequirao trip, I decided I still hadn't had enough of ruins, and that it'd be a shame to leave Peru without seeing Machu Picchu. So I just had to find a way to get there avoiding the British-priced train ride. Eventually I worked it out: a long bus ride, followed by two shared taxis, a river crossing and a 10km walk along some train tracks. Easy.

Oh yeah, the river. The bridge was broken which meant the only way across was in a basket...

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On the way to the train tracks, we met two French boys, Antoine and Antoine. They had found out about this obscure route from their friend who had visited the day before, also called Antoine. Of course.

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We ignored the warnings and headed, in the rapidly fading light, towards Aguas Calientes, the town at the base of Machu Picchu mountain, and accessible only by train (or the tracks thereof).

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Fortunately, a passing service vehicle took pity on us and gave us a ride.

In the morning, we got up at 4am to make the accent to Machu Picchu in time to for the sunrise and to get the special early-bird tickets to climb a slightly higher bit of mountain. Unfortunately, we weren't the only ones, and ended up 280th in the queue... It meant we'd have to wait a few hours before our next accent, so wisely decided to use the time to climb a different, even higher bit of mountain. But first, to get the postcard picture as the sun rose over the surrounding mountains. We did it:

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Fun fact: if you turn your head 90° to the right, you should be able to see a head in the mountain behind. To help you, I took a photo of this tasteful poster that makes things a little clearer:

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Then we climbed. It turned out this mountain was *much* higher than the one in the photo. So we continued climbing, up Inca-era steps, until we passed through a hole in a rock and arrived at the top. 

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The views were spectacular:

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There was also a mystery bra:

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After much speculation as to its providence, we descended to climb the 'nose' only to find a long queue of other wannabe-nose-climbers. We decided that one mountain is enough for anyone and so concentrated on exploring the citadel instead. It was, as you might expect, pretty. But at one point I tried to go back down some stairs I had just walked up, only for a vigilant guard to instruct me that Machu Picchu was one-way. So, a bit different to Choquequirao...

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I also made friends with a happy llama:

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But soon it was time to start the walk back along the train tracks, back over the river, back in two shared taxis and back in a bus. It didn't all work out quite as hoped, as we shall see. First though, Aguas Calientes excelled itself at being a very unusual town, where four-piece bands mix with wheelbarrows, and where the main street is a railway.

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Then our walk along the tracks was interrupted by great light and an overwhelming need to throw spare sleepers into the adjacent river. I only got a photo of the light because I was too busy throwing to worry about cameras when the sleepers appeared...

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Oh, and there was some balancing on the rails:

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The the train passed...

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...which paved the way for balancing-on-rails to happen on the big, high, scary bridge.

All of which meant we were running a bit late and in considerable danger of missing the last taxi back. To cut a long story short, we made it, thanks to a twenty minute run, with minutes to spare. And then the bus had lost our reservation, forcing us into the very-narrow aisle. But we made it back as expected and I spent the first of four consecutive nights sleeping on buses...

Hiking to the lost city of Choquequirao

You've probably heard of the Inca Trail. It's one of a few long paths that the Inca's used to get to Machu Picchu. It's also incredibly busy, very expensive and requires six-months notice if you want to walk along it. Any of which would've been sufficient reason not to do it.

So I looked for an alternative. There are other Inca trails, but they all end in the service town for Machu Picchu - and who wants to walk for four days only to arrive at a train station? Well, okay, lots of people apparently. But not me.

I'd heard of another site, an alternative Machu Picchu, as important to the Incas and as big as the big MP. But it was only rediscovered in the '70s and so remains only 30% uncovered. The rest is in the cloud forest. But the only way to get there is to walk for two days down and up a 1.5km-deep canyon and so it remains unpopular.

It's called Choquequirao and it sounded perfect.

 
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It turned out that my friends Marina and Sigurd wanted to go too. (I went climbing with them in La Paz - at some point photos will appear on here, but in the meantime you can see Marina's.) So did Frank.

 
[Apologies if you find this post goes into extraordinarily tedious detail - but the only information I could find about this hike suggests you need to return the same way you go in - and so I hope the information about this much better option might become useful to somebody one day... I'll put the excessively dull parts in italics. Or you can just look at the photos if you like...]
 
Marina and Sigurd arrived; we went shopping, ate ceviche in the market, looked unsuccessfully for a useful map and packed our bags ready for an early morning bus towards Cachora [bus to Ramal Cachora - get one towards Abancay, or convince Lima-bound buses to let you off - followed by S/.5 colectivo to Cachora where the tourist office can give you a usable map].

We walked past a cow doing a perfect impression of a donkey and were soon delighted we had decided to come. Except Frank, who was feeling sick and wasn't delighted that he had decided to come. It was proving impossible not to anthropomorphise the animals - least of all these horses having a conference, probably about whether their friend had survived the fall.
 
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The path cut a perfect line along the steep hillside...
 
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But soon the sun was going down and we realised we weren't going to make it to the river. Not least because we had to keep stopping and taking photos like these:

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We arrived at a campsite and started to cook while Frank tried to sleep off his sickness. He failed and so decided to turn back the next morning. And so it was a bit solemnly that we started again. But you can't stay solemn for long with the beautiful scenery we were enjoying...
 
We got to the river where we hoped we'd find mules to carry our bags up the 1,500m-high hill. But there were no mules, and so we started our merry way up the hill, four-days of food, tents and stove on our backs. But the months we had spent at altitude in Bolivia were reaping their reward: the river was at only 1,500m and the air was thick. We soon overtook a group of retiree marathon runners who had mules to carry their bags, porters to put up and take down their tents and a chef to cook their meals.
 
We eventually reached the entrance to Choquequirao, bizarrely situated a 90-minute walk from the site. On the way, we stopped to drop off our bags and positively ran the last 30-minutes enjoying the weightlessness. We arrived and crossed a seemingly-endless terrace to find the site deserted. This is what we came for. So we climbed to the flattened mountain-top (that respect of nature again) to enjoy the view and the wine we had dragged up with us. While Marina posed, I unleashed my inner hobo:
 
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The river twists like a ribbon far below at the bottom of a valley so steep you can easily convince yourself it's not there. A little too easily...
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We went back to set up our tents before it got dark to find we'd be sharing the campsite with the luxury campers we had overtaken earlier. And they were noisy.
 
The following morning, Sigurd and Marina had been struck by the same sickness Frank had been suffering from. And so, while they lay on the plaza, I went exploring, following water channels into the cloud forest. I climbed and climbed, and Choquequirao continually came back into sight.
 
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I came across a path and started following it, reasoning that it must lead somewhere. Twenty minutes later, I realised I had found the beginning of the 6-day hike to Machu Picchu. So I sat on the edge of rock to enjoy the view and watch the condors before turning back.
 
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I returned an was sent away again, with Marina's far-superior camera, to take photos of the terraces, the only ones anywhere in the world that contain art.
 
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S&M's (hehe) illness meant we decided to stay another night. So, after we had eaten and they had gone to bed, I decided to walk back to the city. As I walked through the pitch-dark cloud forest, scenes from every horror film I'd seen flashed before my eyes, and I convinced myself a secret cult would be holding a meeting in the plaza. But my reasonable side forced me to continue. But just as I arrived, I saw some tiny flashes of light coming from all directions, looking for all the world like the communications of a secret cult warning the others of an intruder and, possibly, planning how best to sacrifice him.
 
But after further investigation (thanks to one stationary light from a lightworm) I realised they were fireflies. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued. I arrived disappointed to see the almost-full moon behind thick cloud, but I could still make out the shape of the buildings, stairs and walls. I found a nice spot in a wall and sat down and after half an hour, the clouds parted and the whole city was bathed in the ghostly light of the moon. After another hour, I realised that the nook in the wall that I was sitting in was the same as the ones I had seen at other sites and that were used to put the mummies of former kings when celebrations were taking place. I decided to leave.
 
The next morning, we headed out towards Huanipaca [the path goes directly out of the bottom terrace of the campsite]. It's a steep descent towards the river and we went slowly thanks to my heavy rucksack and S&M's continued sickness.
 
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We reached the river, crossed the bridge, and swam and washed where the luxury campers were again ruining the tranquility. The path goes just as steeply up the other side, and we arrived at an ex-hacienda where we 
shared our most expensive bottle of coke and I finished off the luxury camper's lunch. Huanipaca has the advantage of being much lower than Cachora, so the return to Cusco is theoretically possible in one day - but you need to arrive in time to catch get a car back to the main road before the last bus passes. And no cars wait at the nearest bit of road, so you need to call for one to collect you from Huanipaca itself, an hour away. So I went ahead to order a taxi.
 
To cut a long story short, we didn't make it. I did get very angry and swore at mountains when it became apparent our map was a big lie - the village isn't exactly where the road starts, but 3 kilometers further along, past an unmarked junction (turn left - I found out the hard way). But eventually I arrived at Villa Los Loros where I was told I'd be able to call the cab. Except, as Marco, the friendly Italian owner patiently explained, that was also a lie. But he knew where there was a man with a car who'd take us to Huanipaca [S/.35 for three of us] and so I went in hunt. I got back to find S&M relaxing on his grass and we set off to spend a night in delighful (not really) Huanipaca, where a speaker on the church calls out adverts, the people call you gringito and only one of the four 'restaurants' has any food. Early the next morning it was all over - a two hour drive in a shared cab [S/.15pp I think] to the main road where we hailed the first passing bus to take us back to Cusco.
 
[If you're thinking of doing the same, I suggest you either book a taxi to take you all the way back to Cusco - have him meet you a Villa Los Loros where you can have a drink while you wait. If you leave the Choquequirao 
campsite early in the morning, and you're fit and want to do it quickly, you can arrive by 3pm easily. Or, just accept you'll spend a very cheap night in Huanipaca. Incidentally, Marco also gave us the best map we saw - and it's available on : his website].

Touring Cusco's Inca ruins

Frank and I spent a couple of days waiting for Sigurd and Marina (see the next post...) and so decided to check out the local transport and ruins (and a football match which featured a record number of broken limbs that miraculously recovered minutes later). We spent the first day in the immediate surrounds of Cusco (which was built so that it's plan looks like a puma - allegedly...)

We saw dry stone walls that demonstrated the Inca skill at using a slightly harder rock to cut a slightly softer rock (and possibly some wet wood)...

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...and were awed by their strength - dragging rocks weighing up to 70 tonnes 8km from the quarry. Uphill.
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They also had a nice line in excavations, using areas of colder rock to store the body parts of dead Inca chiefs undergoing mummification. The cut out square below is essentially a 500-year-old refrigerator.
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On the walk back to town, way back, we were accosted by a passing shaman. After he was convinced that we didn't want to buy his statuette, he explained how his people lived around Cusco before the Incas and so were forever protected by the spirits of their ancestors, and went on to show us his necklace which he seemed to think conferred some kind of authority to what he was telling us. But, carefully stowing our valuables with the other, we went anyway, one at a time, to sit on a rock and undergo his proffered ritual. After a brief meditation ("No, sit up straight!"), he looked at my hands and announced that I had a good destiny but needed to find my path.
 
He preferred Frank, telling him that he should shower with some coca leaves at exactly 10pm that evening to discover his path, before leading him into the forest, promising to be back in 10 minutes. Fifteen minutes passed by and I realised that this was the opening to an elaborate robbery. I had Frank's bag and was deliberating whether to run back to the hostel and hope he did the same when he was eventually released by the thief. But after waiting another fifteen minutes, I got out my penknife and climbed into the forest to search for him, aware that this was probably all part of their horrible plan. Constantly checking around to make sure I was keeping the high ground - the better to fight should I need to - I started quietly calling his name, scared of alerting the gang and, in a very English way, of breaking my promise to wait on the path.
 
An old lady came walking past and I looked very carefully to check if it was a disguise - it wasn't, but I was doing it so subtly that I fell over. I was entering deeper into the forest - certainly the territory of marauding bandits - and still heard no sign of him. I picked up a big rock and slowly continued just above the path, looking for any sign of movement. Suddenly a saw it - a figure coming around the corner! I raised my arm ready to launch my initial surprise attack while I waited for him to walk out of the bright sunlight. Frank.
 
Our shaman friend had given an extensive blessing to the statue Frank had bought earlier, and it took longer than expected. I counted my possessions and we walked down the steep hill for a coffee.
 
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The next day, we booked ourselves onto a guided tour of the Sacred Valley, home to many more Inca sites. Also in the group were 18 young Americans who knew each other from school. Only, not school. And not university either. We probed further, and found to our delight that they had all spent a year at the same Bible school, learning how God loves each and every one of us. Fantastic.
 
The girl in front of us had a stomach ache. Ordinarily, you rest and hope it goes away, or maybe medicate. Not so with the attendees of their Texas bible school. Another girl came the length of the bus to put her hand on the sufferer's shoulder and invoked the name of God for her speedy recovery. It didn't work fast enough, so another boy, apparently ignoring God's clear wish for her to suffer a bit longer, offered his own prayer: "Lord, we ask that you fill Ashley's stomach with your love, because where there is your love, there is no sickness. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Saviour, who died [etc.]" Frank and I exchanged a look and then resumed looking straight ahead, not sure of what to say or do.
 
A little later, she was sick. I don't know if that was God's love, but she felt a little better after.
 
We got to the first site and our guide patiently explained how the Incas respected nature (not like the conquistadors). For instance, by following the shape of the mountain when they built their terraces. That's right: rather than cutting entirely through the mountain, they just flattened sections on the slopes. You might think that's just because it's easier, but that'd be missing the point - it was all because of their profound respect for nature. 
 
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The two on the left are getting married. We all know why, right? *Wink*
 
We were later shown how they had incorporated an enormous rock into the wall of a house, rather than breaking up and taking away. Their respect for nature was profound. But, respect for nature or not, it was impressive. In order to store their grain and 1000 varieties of potato, they built a storage building in a slightly colder piece of rock. A piece of rock that happened to be on the other mountain, which incidentally includes a face (between the two buildings below).
 
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Sadly we didn't have time to visit Inca Bucks for a coffee before we returned, via a beautifully-painted church, to Cusco, while our American friends (who literally believe that people lived to 800 years old in the times of the Old Testament, thanks to a more oxygen-rich air, and that Noah's Flood was caused by the melting of an enormous sphere of ice encapsulating the Earth. Incidentally, it had never rained before Noah's flood. How plants grew wasn't explained) continued to Machu Picchu.
 
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Frank and I were proud to have spent the entire two days respecting nature by not smashing one single rock into little pieces.

Km1,984 - Sicuani to Cusco: ruins, ruins and ruins

(Gmail has introduced drag-and-drop photos so you don't have to scroll up and down any more).

I left Sicuani and with it the altiplano. Out were spartan landscapes with small scrubs covering the flat ground. In were fertile valleys with brooks and streams descending from the tree-covered mountains. I'd grown so accustomed to the lack of water that when I heard my first stream, I immediately assumed it was yet another attack dog and so slammed on the brakes.

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I turned one corner and found myself confronted by two inquisitive bulls standing in front on a huge Inca wall - built without mortar.

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But I had to keep going if I was going to get to Tipón, an Inca site showcasing their very best water features, before dark. I was alarmed to discover that it was situated 400m higher up a mountain than the road along a 3km track. That's steep. So I stowed my bags in a shop and made the most of a light bike. It felt weird... But in the evening light, the terraces were all the more spectacular.

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I had the site almost to myself. The only other people there were a family who had passed me on a particularly steep section of road. After I had explained about my trip, their guide explained the mythology represented in the waterfalls: humanity was created (one waterfall), became man and woman (two waterfalls - one big and butch and one small and neat), joined in marriage (the two waterways joined) and had children (four waterfalls). Finally, all the water cascades of the edge of a flat stone which has some hastily-invented significance to do with the cycle of life.

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By the time I got back to the road, it was time for all the local workers to go home:

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...and as I crossed the train tracks, a wonderful view was spoiled by a big white gate.

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I wanted to get to Cusco that evening so I covered the last 30 kilometers in the dark. I didn't know it was 30 kilometers though, and a sign five kilometers after I started welcoming me to Cusco gave me considerable false hope. I thought I'd arrived five kilometers later when I was clearly in a town. But it turns out that Cusco has 20 kilometers of outskirts, down a big hill from the centre. Fortunately only one bus cut me up badly enough to warrant retaliative action: I punched his window and he responded by trying to run me off the road. But while his actions had no effect on my cycling, his window made an incredible crash so I'm counting it as a points victory me.

Eventually I arrived to a fireworks display that, on reflection, probably didn't in fact have anything to do with my arrival. I found the hostel where Frank, a Dutch friend I had bumped into in Copacabana, was staying, and we went in search of a restaurant. Eventually we settled on Govinda's, reasoning that Hari Krishnas wouldn't rip us off as hard as the elsewhere in South America's most over-priced city (probably). Sadly, they did.

Km1,824: Sicuani. Lakes, ruins and doughnuts

I celebrated my first night in Peru by being violently sick and so spent the morning searching for ways to replenish my energy. I found both warm quinoa juice and outrageously delicious fresh doughnuts. I ate six. Sadly, only the quinoa juice seems to have made it to other parts of the country...

I cycled along the lake under clear blue skies and came across both a pier for nudey-swimming and washing [1] and a cattle market with views into the transportation [2]. Two days later, I arrived in Puno, the closest access to the floating islands inhabited by the descendents of a people too weak to fight the Inca's on their own territory, so retreated to the lake. I visited on a tourist boat full of holidaying Peruvians and a kid with the best mullet I've ever seen [3,4].

Two days later I left to vist some funerary towers that local taxi drivers assured me was worth the 30km detour. And indeed it was, if only for the abundance of cute animals I saw on the way. I got to play with a baby alpaca [5], saw dozens of lambs, two llamas being chased by two very tiny dogs, and a pet baby thing that looked a bit like a deer. And after all that, the towers themselves provided the setting for one of the most beautiful lunch spots I've experienced [6]. I was persuaded to make another detour by some drunk men in the next town who had lured me in with beer...

I arrived, found somewhere to stay and was pleased to see that my £2.50 room had a cathedral view [8], and in the morning went early to visit. While waiting for it to open I drank yet more quinoa juice and was finally given a tour of the catacombs and the reason for my visit: a masoleum decorated in truly original, if terrifying, style [9].

The dirt road back to the main road claimed two punctures, both to my back wheel which now boasted a new, impossible-to-remove tyre. And as I had lost my tyre levers somewhere along the way, I lost an hour to each one.

So I only got as far as Pucará, where a celebration of the first anniversary of the kindergarten was about to begin. But it was a pretty half-hearted affair, only livened up by the crazy children. I
discovered my room had another church view (yawn) [10].

I woke up early, warmed up with my quinoa juice and set off. By the time the sun was going down, I had cycled 120kms up and over a 4,338m pass [13], and at these moments you start daydreaming about what you might find around the next corner. But even my wildest daydreams
didn't include thermal baths that allow free camping and the use of a kitchen and (relatively) warm dining room. Yet that's exactly what I came across; so had an old Swiss cyclist coming the other way. We sat up and played Uno (his idea) with the girls who worked there, before braving our cold tents.

In the morning I made the most of the facilities on offer and went to climb the world's smallest volcano with my little guide friend [14] before another short day.

Incidentally, I've discovered that Peruvians suffer from a form of collective Tourette's which forces them to shout whatever English word they know at any passing tourist. When it's a pair of cousins, aged 5 and 8 and wearing bear costumes, calling "bye" after you in as you walk in and out of restaurants, it's cute; when it's old men shouting "Meester," it's just annoying.

Next stop: Cusco. Only another 120km-day to go...